


Like Glass You Shatter

by Elysia45



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age), Lavellan/Solas Angst (Dragon Age), Light Angst, M/M, Minor Male Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age), Minor Violence, Other, flowery wording
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29893929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elysia45/pseuds/Elysia45
Summary: Sometimes the worst pain is watching the one you love slowly crack like delicate glass. Fane watches as a grief stricken Solas begins to show the tiny cracks from centuries of isolation and ignorance.
Relationships: Fen'Harel/Lavellan (Dragon Age), Lavellan & Solas, Male Lavellan/Solas, Solas/Lavellan
Kudos: 1





	Like Glass You Shatter

**Author's Note:**

> I have come back from the dead with some Solavellan angst! Not too heavy, but just some self indulgence. I've been having terrible writer's block, but I'm slowly working myself out of it. At least enough so I can write little drabbles that encompass scenarios from the game, but with my own little creative twist. I hope you all enjoy this short, but sweet depiction of Solas's personal quest!  
> (Just a friendly reminder: Putting preexisting characters into different renditions of base events is not insulting the personality of that character. It's just giving readers a different perspective into that character that was otherwise not shown or showcased in the vanilla point of view. I understand how Solas's personality is supposed to be, but for the sake of the story, I've expanded upon it. I apologize if it seems 'OOC', but again, it is simply a different perspective.)

Death. Death was a concept Fane was all too familiar with, as it was the most natural occurrence that inflicted all beings; spirit or mortal. A life began; a wailing, fragile existence. A death rendered it silent; an inevitable, anxious end. These two things were indicative to the natural order of the raw world, and to potentially obstruct them would tilt the scale even worse than it already was. Fane knew this. He knew there was no life, no _renewal_ , without death. One did not hopelessly water an already decaying flower in hopes that it would revive itself. No, you allowed it to crumble into dust, rejoining the earth as it demanded. Otherwise, you deprived other flowers of what made them also thrive; an array of colorful blooms then wilting from selfishness. His very _existence_ as a _dragon_ was to keep the scale at an even keel, to keep such irresponsibility at bay. It was true that his specific kin were tasked with observing living, reasoning creatures, but they still felt the earth cry out in anguish every time it suffered. They felt it _all_ , and even if they wished to intervene, they could not if it was deemed a natural progression. Dragons..were not allowed to desire, not allowed to be selfish, unless they wished to see the whole world fall to ruin. However, this once, _just_ this once, Fane had desired to actively intervene on a selfish whim, if only to lessen the pain of another rather than the world. He had desired to lessen Solas’s pain. He had desired to _help_ Solas in freeing a spirit his sky called a friend. But as most things went when it came to his sinful desires, it had gone sour in an instant. Death had come calling, as it naturally did. However, the events that had brought it about? Those were _not_ . No..those events were brought about by _ignorance_ . And now..now he saw the effects of that ignorance. Fane saw the one thing that always followed after death like a shadow; _grief_ . He saw it in the way Solas’s hands shook slightly as the mage’s magic guided the spirit to its rest. He saw it in Solas’s back, the man’s crouching posture seemingly slumping in defeat before it locked up with stiffness. He saw it in the way Solas minutely locked and unlocked his jaw, even as the front of his face was obscured, stormy eyes staying transfixed on the spot where the spirit had been. But the most telltale sign of his sky’s overwhelming grief was his _voice_ as it uttered a farewell to the spirit. 

“Dareth shiral..”, he heard Solas’s voice utter, the normally composed tone sounding slightly choked.

Golden emerald eyes slowly shut as Fane took in a deep breath through his nose, feeling a heart wrenching pain in his chest as the elven caressed his ears. He knew, by his nature, that this was the way of things, but why did this anguish feel so _wrong_ , so _unnatural_? Was it because of his mortal body? Was it because he had a broader span of emotions? He truly didn’t know. All he knew was that Solas was in pain, and was doing everything within his power to conceal it. 

_No. He’s trying to_ **_endure_ ** _. Just as the spirit had said._

Fane let out a deep sigh at his thoughts before carefully crossing his arms, digging his gauntlets into the leather sleeves of his coat as he willed himself to say something, _anything_ , to ease Solas’s anguish. Now was not the time to dwell on Solas’s unhealthy, but understandable habit of bottling. No, now was the time to be _present_.

Fane slowly opened his eyes as he took another deep breath through his nose before letting it out slowly, looking down at Solas’s still crouched down form before taking a few tentative steps to bridge the distance between the two of them, “You did _everything_ you could have done, my sky.”, he murmured down to Solas, surprising himself with how soft his voice sounded, but decided to pay it no mind. 

He watched with uncommon patience as Solas’s head slowly turned to glance back and up at him. The moment golden emerald connected with stormy blue, Fane felt the whole world shift and _plunge_ into a bucket of ice cold water. Even without his draconic abilities, Fane saw the well of utter sorrow within those sky like eyes. He saw the wobbling of grey as Solas fought to keep stubborn tears at bay. He saw the flecks of muted blue as they swirled with a deep recess of agony. He saw the delicate shards of indigo begin to _drown_ in the want to crumble. But mixed together, Fane saw what he had seen so many times, so many centuries ago. He saw _hopelessness_ within Solas’s eyes. The sight nearly made Fane weep as he felt his mouth form into a hard line. 

Solas stared back at him for several moments before quickly squeezing his eyes shut, swallowing hard before speaking, “Now..I must endure.”, voice sounding strained and forced.

Fane felt the hard line of his mouth deepen into an outright frown before he slowly descended to crouch down next to Solas, craning his neck a bit to keep the elven man’s gaze since Solas had turned it from him, “You don’t have to endure _this_. Let yourself grieve..”, he tried to coax. 

“Now is not the time for grief, Fane.”, Solas responded back, tone slightly clipped even as Fane detected the faint wobble in it, “It is _never_ the time..”

Fane let out a quiet sigh, turning his gaze down to the space of ground under his feet, “There _will_ come a day when you fall over the edge, Solas. It won't be today or tomorrow, or even months from now, but it will come. And when it _does_ come..”, he started gently, once again taken aback by his softness, “..I will be there to catch you, even if it _breaks_ my back to do so.”, finishing the declaration with a low growl, “Even if I were to die again and again and **again** , I would _find_ you and I would _catch_ you. _Never_ doubt that.”

He knew he was being overly dramatic, but Solas’s own concealed anguish was playing on his own. He needed the other to know he would be here, whatever the era, to support him. His wolf would not wander into fire and brimstone alone. He would not _grieve_ alone. 

_I_ **_vow_ ** _to you, Solas. Never again._ **_Never_ ** _again._

Emerald eyes hardened as Fane came out of his thoughts, noticing Solas had finally risen from his spot on the ground. Solas stood over him stiffly, a fist slowly balling into a tight fist before unfurling quickly. Fane trailed his gaze up to Solas’s eyes once more, easily detecting the same grief behind their colors, but..now there was something more in those usually calm eyes. Now..there was a _true_ storm swirling in those volatile grays. There was _anger_. Solas glanced down at him slowly, face twitching with something akin to uncertainty and sorrow before a stony mask concealed it. 

“.. **Never** again, ma’isenatha.”, Solas bit out, voice deepening with suppressed anger as those tumultuous eyes turned on the ones responsible for this debacle in the first place, “ _Never_ again.”, a practical growl resonating within his voice as Solas stalked forward.

Fane slowly rose from his own crouched position to stand to his full height, crossing his arms over his chest as he listened to meaningless pleas and pitiful defenses. He stood and he _watched_ with the attentiveness of a dragon as nature took its course. He ignored the hushed disapproval from the others in their party as the sudden roaring of flame drowned them out. He took in a deep breath as burnt flesh and charred bone threatened to turn his stomach. He observed the barely contained panting as Solas’s whole body rose and fell, residual magic coursing through his body from his frenzied actions. He saw the inevitable shift from furious rage to stifling anguish as Solas’s stony mask twisted and squeezed into an expression of utter agony. And in that moment, Fane did not see a monster. He did not see the ludicrous tales of the Dalish about the Dread Wolf. He did not see a ‘god’. He did not see a maniacal creature laughing at the death and destruction. 

No. Fane saw _Solas_. Fane saw his _sky_ with its clear days and stormy eves. He saw..

_I see the man that no one else cares to see; a fragile glass about to burst with endless screams._

**Author's Note:**

> Elvish Translations (namely the last line from Solas):  
> Ma'isenatha - Rough translation for 'my dragon' (I attempted to use some guides for this, but Dragon Age elven is very tricky due to it being written as literal code. So, if this is incorrect, I'm sorry!)


End file.
